cacoethes scribendi

So here it starts again... Apologies for going quiet... or if you're minded and thinking WTF is he on now... Apologies for restarting...
You see things have actually been moving apace (do you like what I did there...) but it has all passed in a daze as I have had a few Yings to go along with the Yangs of life that just keep knocking me back a little and reading a very very moving and personal blog by an eminent US Turfie touched me a little and I feel I need to do my own lil personal 'vent' as it is supposed to be very cleansing for the soul.... and I can assure you my soul needs some cleansing....

There is a 'moral' to the the next bit, a meaning to it or at least in my eyes it is totally relevant to how my head works or not depending on your viewpoint which is ultimately why I am sat here jabbering away on this keyboard.... Ok it will make sense  if I edit it enough... patience.. it will honest!.

As I tend to mention a little too often just cos it actually takes over nearly every minute of every blooming day and affects EVERYTHING I do, I got this strange thing going on inside that jumped out a couple of years ago which has really screwed my blood up called APS or Hughes Syndrome or for simpletons like me.. Sticky Blood.. It is what is known as a Chronic Disease so with the right management it aint going away just it won't be killing me off any day soon.....
It likes to make my blood clot which is great if you're bleeding but not so if they settle down in a vein or a lung like I had.. As I have said too many times this is what started me on this road.. I didn't like what these doctors, these esteemed medical experts were telling me was the reason why just because it didn't make sense to me, how could you get something like that just because it happens.. So I started reading, researching, looking and asking what were the potentials and managed to blag a blood test I wouldn't have got if I hadn't of asked for it and 'Boom!' there it was stuff in there that meant there was an actual reason why.. clear as day no arguing diagnosis of what I had and why I clotted....

Anyway all was good, on the ol rat poison for life.. managed INR and all returns to normal... only it don't quite go like that... No couldn't possibly have common or garden APS and just drop an odd clot could I ... no.. I soon realise there are a few other things going on which as it turns out are a bit like optional extras when you buy a car just they ain't optional they're sort of prefitted..
Now I do actually genuinely think that somehow in a mad mad way part of the reason I am writing this is just because this thing has made me look at things completely differently.. hell I even joke that it has made me cleverer somehow.. now that would really make me some sort of medical miracle not an enigma...

As much as anything it is the shock of realisation that a hell of a lot of people we professionally trust, like Doctors say or too be fair, most Doctors do not have a flipping clue about half of  anything unless they specialise in it and a good deal of them may actually be blagging it off a bit as you/we are actually their lil mobile medical experiments...

What really did it for me was when my GP scoffed in a really offish manner "Well I suppose they THINK they have found something" NO they haven't sort of stumbled over this they bloody well found Lupus Inhibitors AND Antiphospholipid Antibodies amongst other things... no bloody maybe! and deffo..

When they use this lil fella's venom it's a clear marker....
Now again to be totally fair I do have to say that in the 2 Hospital 'stints' and under care of the local Chest and Haematology dept before being referred to St Thomas's & Guy's I have been treated brilliantly, I could not really fault any of it in terms of treatment BUT if I hadn't of pushed for those blood tests and then about other drugs, other issues I do not know where I would be actually

And this is my problem... these experts all have to some degree preconceived perceptions of what is going on and how to treat it yet when you delve and look deeper it turns out that they only sort of know.... to be honest it feels like half the time they are blagging it off. Like the Haematologist last week... didn't have a clue about the drug I been put on... And the Doc in London who put me on it... Didn't know I had to pay for it, been here ages yet didn't realise you paid for prescriptions... There have also been.. conflicting comments on scans etc....
'Trust me I'm a Doctor'?..... Hhhmmmm!

And here's the point..... Are our 'experts' any different to the Docs? Are they so indoctrinated by what they are taught and told they can't see what is clearly there? Are they blinded by the numbers rather than looking at what is actually happening? I think I know...

It's like getting a spec which asks for materials that are not even made let alone available, you would think these clever, educated, expert in their fields (pun intended) would actually get off their arses long enough to find out what is ACTUALLY being produced. 25 mm stone I saw the other month... not made. 6-10 mm Gravel.. Its either 4-10 mm or 2-6 mm, this is BASIC shit......
So what else are they not getting right?

It's like all they are interested in is protecting the old PI and their backsides.. well here it is Ladies and Gentlemen, the ultimate must have 'Expert' gift... The Bootie Wrap! Arse Protection at its highest level......

Well I think there may be lots the game has wrong.. how else can it be that with all the 'knowledge' all the Products, all that Sand!!! all that metal being beaten into the soil, all the methods we now use to rip out the ultimate evil... all that air!...
Why is it then that we are still seeing all the same problems, much of it getting worse!?

And then you have the worst of the lot.... The Naysayers these really are the most indoctrinated of all...

 They belittle those that do not follow their views

 and yet do they actually know anything apart from the what they believe... It's worse than Religion... they tend to be smothered in Data, numbers for this and that that in reality mean sod all as you have to manipulate them so much to iron out the freakies..... THESE... these are the very people that accuse some of being charlatans and yet....

 The irony of it all is what if the whole shebang... all that we know and believe... what if the Science as we are told and follow... what if it was all based on flawed research and manipulated data, all designed to support the 'Sponsors' view regardless...

What if we only saw a very selective 5% of information from all this research, all that the whole game is based on.... well then you would question who is actually the squiffy spiv selling bullshit and glitter...

There is a definite change in the air see.... have you spotted it yet?...
The little snippets going in here and there....
The odd mention of biology and The Soil......
The very things the 'recognised' have spent time and money slating are suddenly becoming part of mainstream discussion .... odd that eh..
You wait...... I predict a major chem player will be selling you biology in a bag soon... it has to happen and the propaganda machine is slowly changing sails, steering it that way...

And the next will be are you SLAN or MLSN camp?... I know where I am already BUT again you will notice a seeping shift as these people change recommendations and adjust covertly... compare your soil tests soon you will see what was considered Low will become Adequate or High... Its cos they have been Bullshitting their Bullshitters for too long and they can't come out and say 'Sorry, we been purposely getting this wrong for financial gain but anyway here are our NEW recommendations'... people are starting to realise you don't need so much.......... They WILL adapt...

  So that's it... only taken 6 weeks to write this post... now I am knackered so time to sign off  and start a fresh one tomorrow..